D - Donating

 

Theme: Grief Work and Healing Journey

For some, going through their loved one's belongings and figuring out what to do with them too soon can hurt them even more, but delaying the task too long can delay your grief and healing. Neither way is the right way. The only right way is your way.

I ended up going through my mom's things very early on in the grieving process for a couple of reasons. 

One, a sibling kept asking about this item and that item, and because of that I decided to gather up everything my mom left to her family or what I thought they'd like/want, which meant going through things. 

Two, I had to do SOMETHING. During the first two or three weeks, I really relied on being busy. Busy work and distractions are helpful but, again, can delay grief and healing.

Three, I didn't like having these tasks left to do, going through my mom's belongings. I didn't think that waiting would particularly make it easier, as some say, so I did it early, and because I couldn't get help, I did it all by myself.

Yes, there were a couple of moments when I got emotional, which I share in the upcoming F - Facebook Posts, but time wouldn't have made me less emotional, and I was okay afterward.

Anyway...

This post is supposed to be what I did with the things I did not keep or give to my siblings.

As you can guess from the title of this post, I donated them.

While I did bring a tiny box of DVDs and a couple of shoes to my local Goodwill, I didn't just dump everything there.

DONATED CRAFT SUPPLIES:

I packed up my mom's knitting, sewing, crocheting, and other craft supplies that I couldn't use into three boxes and gave them, along with two sewing machines, to the Lutheran church I started to go to.

See: C - Church.

They have knitting, crocheting, and craft circles. Because my mom grew up Lutheran and I had wanted to start bringing her there, I think she would've liked the idea of her craft supplies being donated to the ladies who make up those circles and her supplies being used to create things for people in need.

DONATED TO CANCER PATIENTS:

My mom hadn't lost her hair. It had only thinned. But we had prepared just in case with hats she knitted for herself, a couple of hats she got for free at the cancer center, and a couple of silky hats my sister gave to her when she started chemo. She hadn't used any of them, so I put them into a bag and brought them to the cancer center where she had received her chemo and immunotherapy treatments.

I had included a black foldable cane with butterflies on it that I'd bought her when we thought that she'd eventually be able to go back to using a cane and not the cute purple walker-rollator with butterfly print covers on the seat and backrest. She was never able to use that cane, and I thought it might make someone smile, just at the butterflies on my mom's walker-rollator made her (and staff at hospitals and doctors' offices) smile.

DONATED CLOTHES TO THE NEEDY:

I kept a lot of my mom's clothes, such as her skirts and jackets and a handful of T-shirts, which I've worn since then. Most of it I put into my own closet, but there were articles of clothing I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep or donate them, so I put them in a spare closet. The rest I put into a huge garbage bag and brought to the church because they were collecting clothes for Genesis House, which provides emergency assistance to homeless women and their children.

My mom always loved to give to others (clothes, books, food, etc.), as I always have, even when we didn't have much ourselves. We had that in common. We had even talked about how we liked to give to others.

It felt good to give her things to those who could use them, and I believe that she would've approved whole-heartedly. 

ALL A TO Z POSTS:

A - ASMR

B - Beach

C - Church

D - Donating