We all want to be supported by our family and
friends. It’s only natural. But that doesn’t always happen. Many writers (and
artists in general) don’t receive support from their loved ones. The people
closest to them may not understand their wishes to spend their time writing for
a number of reasons. The people in your life may outright ridicule your dreams or
be subtler about it by not ever asking about your writing, which can cause
pain, especially if you want to share it with them. They may say it’s a waste
of time, not a good career move, not a reliable way to make money, that you
won’t ever have the success of So-And-So, etc., etc. Over time, this naysaying
can damage writers and actually push them to stop writing. Nothing is more
devastating for a writer than to stop writing, for whatever reason. But to stop
writing because you’re discouraged by your loved ones’ lack of support breaks
my heart.
Again, we all want to be supported in our pursuits,
especially if what we’re doing makes us happy and is part of our dream. When it
doesn’t happen, it’s incredibly hurtful.
I have heard from writers who quit writing for this
very reason and confessed that it was one of their biggest regrets. Why was it
one of their biggest regrets? Because they are writers, because they love to
write, and were meant to be writing the entire time they forced themselves not
to do what came naturally to them. Eventually, many of them picked writing back
up, but after many years had gone by.
The worst thing we can do is let the naysayers win.
Have you ever heard that insecure people are the ones who put others down? That they aren’t happy with themselves or their lives, and to make themselves feel better, they criticize others? Well, I believe this is true. The naysayers want you to quit because they want to feel superior over you, as if their life is better, their dreams are more important. They are threatened by what you have, what you do, and what you inspire to do.
When you quit, they defeat you. Don’t. Let. Them.
Win.
If you experience negative reactions from others
(be it from family, friends, co-workers, teachers...even if it’s just from one
or two people who are dear to you), I ask you not to give up or give in. Don’t
listen to what they say. Listen to your heart and creativity instead. Let your
passion speak louder. Let your muse be your biggest supporter.
There’s a reason why writing is said to be a solitary endeavor, because you only need yourself to write a book. Later, you need more people on your team to help you get your book ready for publication, but to write, it’s just you, your creativity, and your muse. Or in other words: you, You, and YOU.
Now, although I say you don’t need a support system at home, which is a defense mechanism, a support system of some kind is helpful and can build you up when others are tearing you down.
If you don’t have support from the people who you
wish would support you, you can write without them (without their blessings or
interest) and find other writers who probably need the support, too. Giving
support to other writers and receiving it in return can make all the
difference.
BONUS A TO Z
THEME: AVRIANNA HEAVENBORN
S - Sassy & Simone
Sassy is Avrianna's adoptive aunt and foster mom. She has her own personal style that often involves pink from head-to-toe and feather boas.
Universal Killer Excerpt:
“Oops,” Sassy said. “I moved your gun’s purse.”
“It’s called a holster.”
“It looks like a purse. I’ll fix it for you.” She started to straighten the holster, but Avrianna slapped her hand away.
“Don’t touch the gun.”
“It’s crooked.” Sassy went to try again.
Whack. “Don’t.”
“But—” Sassy’s fingers zeroed in on the leather case once more.
Whack.
“Fine.” Sassy started to turn away but stopped. “Aren’t you going to snap the button back on?” She poked the button on the strap.
Smack. “Don’t.”
“Safety first, Avrianna.”
Whack.
“Okay, but do you know there’s grease or something on it? Right there.”
Smack.
“Aren’t you going to wipe it off? I’ll get it for you.” Sassy licked her finger and went to clean off the smudge from the back of the polymer gun.
Avrianna slapped away Sassy’s fingers once more before rounding on her. “Don’t. Touch. The. Gun.”
Sassy sighed. “Fine.”
Simone is the medical examiner at Aurora Police Department and one of Avrianna's closest friends. If Snow White worked with corpses, well, you'd have Simone. Except, Snow White is as gentle as a snowflake and Simone is a flirtatious vixen.
Cocky Killer Excerpt:
Dr. Simone White stood next to the table, writing notes on a clipboard. She flipped a piece of paper over and made a quick notation. She wore her favorite black scrubs, and her black hair was tied into a bun at the top of her head. Her pale skin appeared moon-kissed, and her lips were painted the brightest red Avrianna had ever seen.
“Hey, Sim, what do you got?”
Simone peered up from the clipboard. “It’s what Mr. Sherman doesn’t have that’s the problem,” she said.
Avrianna stood on the other side of the examination table. “What do you mean?”
“Someone castrated him.”
That was far from what Avrianna expected to hear. “Really?”
“Yeah, do you want to see?” Simone reached for the white sheet covering Axel.
“No.” She put up her hands. “I’m good. Thanks. I’ll take your word for it.”
I agree that support systems are necessary and they don't have to be home-based. It's great to have a wide range of resources available. Fun excerpts from your book as well.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Deborah!
DeleteIt's hard to do anything when those around you aren't supportive. Although, generally, when those closest to you don't support what you are (whether writing or anything else), perhaps they shouldn't remain close to you.
ReplyDeleteVery true. On both counts.
DeleteIt's true! Friends and family may not be your first readers. Though they may help support you in other ways, such as by giving you space to write :-)
ReplyDeleteIf a writer gets some kind of support from their friends and family, it's always a blessing.
Delete