REJECT REJECTIONS
When you get rejection, don’t let it bring you down. Yes, it can feel very personal, but it’s not a personal attack. Change how you view rejections and how you take them.
Instead of seeing a rejection, see a badge of honor. All writers get them. Collect rejections like merit badges. The more you have is a testament of how much you’ve tried and how much your dream means to you.
The more rejections you get, the closer you are to an acceptance. Each one is a stepping stone. Visualize yourself standing on that rejection and leaping off it. The next stone you step on may be another rejection or it may be an acceptance. Follow those stones to your dream. It may be a short path, or it may be a winding one. The point is, all paths lead to something. You must stay on that path to get there, so keep hopping from stone to stone, rejection to rejection.
When you get a rejection, change how you react. Don’t mope. Reward yourself. Not for being rejected but for having the courage to send out a query or manuscript in the first place…and for having the courage to accept the rejection.
Go to the movies or rent a movie. Heck, pop a bottle of wine, but make sure you’re toasting your bravery for taking the next step as a writer, not drowning your sorrows.
When you get a rejection for a partial or full manuscript, give yourself a bigger reward. No, give yourself an AWARD. Many writers never get a partial or full request. Do you have a collection? Add a new item to your collection.
Then when you get that acceptance, when you get that contract, celebrate even more. Go out to dinner, throw a party, buy a memento to represent your story, do something to mark the milestone.
After all, those stepping stones of rejections lead to milestones of acceptances.
~*~
NEW DANCING LEMUR PRESS RELEASE!
CORNERS
By Corrina Austin
Everyone needs their own special corner...
It’s 1969 and ten-year-old Davy is in a predicament. With two weeks remaining of the summer holidays, he’s expelled from the public pool for sneaking into the deep end and almost drowning. How will he break the news to his hard-working single mother? She’s at the diner all day, Davy has no friends, and he’s too young to stay by himself.
The answer lies in his rescuer, mysterious thirteen-year-old Ellis Wynn. Visiting her Grammy for the summer, Ellis offers to babysit Davy. She teaches him about “corners”–forgotten or neglected areas fixed up special. Together, the kids tackle several “corners” and Davy learns what it means to bring joy to others.
Davy begins to wonder, though. Why does Ellis want to be his friend? Why doesn’t she ever smile? And is Davy just one of Ellis’ “corners?”
Book Details:
Juvenile Fiction - Boys & Men / Fiction - Coming of Age
$10.95 USA, 6x9 Trade paperback,
136 pages
$3.99 EBook available in all
formats
Buy Links:
Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo
QUESTION: How do you deal with rejections?
Treat a rejection like a badge of honor.
ReplyDeleteI like that. When I get a rejection my first reaction is to get bummed. Then I get over it and start submitting again. Now, I'll start celebrating the rejections with a toast or chocolate. Because it's better to try and fail than to be afraid to fail that you don't even try at all.
I always bummed at first, of course, but then I shrug and move on. That’s all we can do.
DeleteWhat a great way to look at rejections. And awesome that you are helping your mom review picture books. Maybe she can start networking with picture book writers by joining SCBWI. There are a lot of picture book writers there and some are self-published like her.
ReplyDeleteJoking SCBWI is a good idea. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of that. :)
DeleteRejections really are proof that you are doing something, evidence that you're going after your dream. And I like the idea of treating yourself to wine, chocolate etc as a reward for courage rather than drowning in sorrow.
ReplyDeleteRight. Rejections are all a part of it. We need them to become successful. :)
DeleteHi Chrys, I like the way you have said that we must treat rejection like a badge of honor! I agree that rejections are a proof that we are writing and submitting and improving on our craft.
ReplyDeleteI’m glad you like my idea/theory. Less get those badges of honor!
DeleteRejections are certainly part of the territory for us writers and we have to be thick-skinned and not take them personally. Your idea of taking them as badges of honor is a wonderful way of dealing with the inevitable. That, and realizing that even "famous" authors, like Jane Yolen, still get rejections. :) Here's to you and your mom getting the reviews you need!
ReplyDeleteThey did help to thicken my skin when I first started and was naive. That really does do writers good.
DeleteThank you, Bish!
Bactine for writers is a great idea for a post series. You always come up with such clever ideas! I think it's awesome you and your mom decided to set up your own site. The self-publishing thing is unfair and really just snobbish.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Julie! The idea came from Diedre Knight commenting on one of my posts last year and calling it “bactine for writers.” Something clicked. :)
DeleteJust hope none of those stones is a turtle - he'll just sink.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to Corrina.
That's really cool you are reviewing picture books at your mom's site.
No turtles in our path, just stones that we can go forward or backward on, but there’s always movement.
DeleteI love how you turned a potential negative into a positive. That's awesome. It'a all about how we frame things, I think. Congratulations to Corrina!
ReplyDeleteElsie
Mind over matter. :)
DeleteWhen I get a rejection these days, I'm almost pleased that the agent bothered to send one at all. Most just let silence be their rejection because of time restraints. Rejections on partials or fulls or the dreaded rejection on a revise and resubmit are harder to take. But I'm sure rejections of submissions for those who have agents are more painful yet. Then there's the rejection by the audience if the book gets negative reviews. Why did I sign up for this gig again? You have to be pretty tough to be an author.
ReplyDeleteExactly. A rejection, even a form one, is a good sign...you picked a decent agent to be rejected by. :)
DeleteYou do have to be tough, but not everyone will like what we create. The sooner we realize that the better. I don’t even look at reviews too often unless it’s a new release because I once heard that reviews are for the readers, not the authors, which is true.
I deal with rejection the same way I deal with accomplishing great things: clean and get coffee and have fun in order to forget rejections.
ReplyDeleteThat’s good. Doing the same things for a rejection as an accomplishment will make the rejections feel less negative and more positive. Just like how clean is a positive thing, even if some don’t care for the chore. By the end, you feel accomplished.
DeleteI love that JK Rowlling kept her rejection letters from when she first queried Harry Potter. It gave me such hope as a writer when I first saw her post them.
ReplyDeleteI’ve kept all of mine, too. ;)
DeleteI love that you and your mom reached out to review PBs - all PBs. I don't like that stigma feeling out there toward self-pubbed or smaller pubbed books. I'm learning to bypass those attitudes. As far as rejections, I try to find the positive in them. If there was no positive included then I merely ignore it and move forward. It's what we have to do. Keep our eye on our goal, whatever that might be.
ReplyDeleteThank you! After our experience, we wanted to do this for other picture book writers. :)
DeleteThat is a great way to look at rejections. I'm not far along enough in my writing journey to have put myself out there to be rejected. I guess I need to collect some "merit badges."
ReplyDeleteYes and you will, when you’re ready. :)
DeleteWhat a great idea with your reviewing picture books. I like the way you saw a problem and approached with a fix. Happy IWSG Day.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Juneta! If only more of those reviewers were writers and could see how hard it is for good self-publishers to get what they deserve.
DeleteRejection can feel less painful if one remembers not every story will click with everyone. That person who rejected it just wasn't the right audience, but other people will welcome that story. I think the worst rejection I got was a curt "No, thank you," after I took the time to write a professional, personalized query. A form rejection would've been far less rude!
ReplyDeleteSometimes, it’s the tone we give a rejection that can make it sound curt. To me, form rejections are curt because they send the same thing to all the writers they reject. “No, thank you” can actually be said with a nice tone.
DeleteI once had someone scribble “not for me” on my query letter and mail it back. Ouch.
I've not put myself out there for rejections yet. If I ever finish editing my current project I guess I'll earn some badges at that point, but first to see if I make it that far.
ReplyDeleteYou’ll make it that far. You’ll get badges of honor. And then you’ll get the biggest reward. Believe it. :)
DeleteI've enjoyed the picture book reviews on your mom's blog. I always love to see the artwork. :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I would receive rejections, I'd indulge in a little (or an entire pint) of Ben & Jerry's, then get my butt back in the chair and get back to work.
Thanks, M.J.! And thanks for following her blog.
DeleteAs long as you get back to work, that’s all that matters. And having a belly full of Ben & Jerry’s could help. ;)
I've come to understand how I process rejection. If it's a particularly hard one, I sleep on it and usually feel better in the morning. It doesn't usually get me down for longer than 24 hours anymore. :)
ReplyDeleteThat’s good!
DeleteHi Chrys ... this is a great read - encouraging for all writers, as too self-published picture books ... but all books deserve their reviews. Getting an acknowledgement is excellent news ... cheers to you and your Mum - Hilary
ReplyDeleteI agree. All books deserve their reviews. :)
DeleteRejections are definitely a mile stone. It shows you created something and put it out there to take a chance.
ReplyDeleteYessss!!!!
DeleteIt's tough to look at it with that positive slant, at first, but you're so right. When I have a little distance from the sting I'm able to look at all my rejections as stepping stones on the way to that one acceptance I need!
ReplyDeleteIn the beginning, it’s really tough. I still sigh and feel bummed when I get a rejection, but then I move on the next minute. There’s always something more, something better waiting. We just have to muck through the rejections to get there.
DeleteI would love to say I am ok with rejection but I think I would have a hard time. You actually made me feel a bit better today since I am dealing with another type of rejection which hurt. You also remind me of a previous blog post you wrote where J.K. Rowling received something like 33 rejections? Stephen King got tons etc... and now look at them.
ReplyDeleteI’m glad this post could help you with another form of rejection not related to writing. Xoxo
DeleteRejection hits me different ways at different times. I can handle it, sometimes. Other times it takes me an "adjustment" period to deal with it. But I don't stop. One day this dream will come true. I will make my living by writing... Thanks for the booster!
ReplyDeleteI suffer from depression, so there are times when rejection hits me too hard and flares up my depression, so I understand. :)
DeleteRejections always suck but I find that they sometimes lead to better roads. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeletewww.ficklemillennial.com
They always lead to something better. When one door is shut, another is opened. :)
DeleteI love that your reviewing self-published picture books! It doesn't really seem fair for reviewers not to include them.
ReplyDeleteI've only had rejections from contests, but they can still sting! Your advice for dealing with rejection is great.
*you're
DeleteI know I could have just left that like a normal person, but it bugged me. :P
I suppose these reviewers received too many “bad” self-pubbed picture books, which is a shame and ruined it for the authors who do a great job and take it seriously.
DeleteNo worries. I tend to add another comment when I see a typo I made. I can’t help it. lol
There are a lot of picture book writers at my local SCBWI group and many of them are thinking about (or already are) self-publishing. I can't imagine they'd be pleased by this.
ReplyDeleteI suspect it takes a lot of practice before one can deal rationally with rejections. Glad to hear they don't bother you so much anymore.
It’s not that they don’t bother me anymore, but that I try to not let them bother me. With my depression, it’s extra important, since rejections have depressed me in the past.
DeleteI always get frustrated when I'm looking for places to submit my books and they don't take novellas or indie published works. It's tough, and I can imagine it would be even more so picture books.
ReplyDeleteAs for rejections, I just pick up and carry on most of the time. A few are harder to take than others, but chocolate soothes it. Funny that I reward myself with chocolate too!
Yes, I had trouble finding reviewers for my novellas, too. Sigh.
DeleteGreat advice on rejections indeed. Just have to keep on a going, never know when that yes may come.
ReplyDeleteRight on!
DeleteWhen a piece is rejected I always have an initial feeling of disappointment. But for me, the victory is having submitted at all. Then I tell myself that now I have the opportunity to review and revise and make the story just a little bit better for the next round. What a wonderful, creative solution to start doing picture book reviews! I wish you and your mom every success with that project.
ReplyDeleteThe victory is having submitted. :) I love that you look at is an opportunity to learn and advance your story. That’s how to handle rejection.
DeleteLike that stepping stone visualisation, Chrys. Now I need to get the stepping stones close enough together to leap from one to another..............
ReplyDeleteBaby steps, Roland. It’s all about baby steps on those stepping stones. :)
DeleteGood advise, Chrys. Rejections make me more determined. I always feel if a writer isn't getting rejections, they're not trying hard enough.
ReplyDeleteThat’s how it should be. Rejections should motivate us. :)
DeleteLove your tribute to rejection and totally agree. Couldn't have said it better myself.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Olga!
DeleteThanks for featuring Corners today.
ReplyDeleteMaking a review site for picture books is a wonderful thing.
You’re welcome!
DeleteWe hope to get picture books to review. :)
Great advice. I've been writing for many years, so have quite a few rejections. When I get one, I read the publisher's comments and if they make sense, I use those comments to improve the story before sending it out again. That's a part of the writing life. I learn something new everyday.
ReplyDeleteHave fun with reviewing picture books.
You’re lucky to get comments from a publisher. Not many writers do. I haven’t. lol Paying attention to those comments is important.
DeleteNow, that's an idea. The trick will be to come up with something pleasurable that is doable. Something to ponder.
ReplyDeletePonder away. :)
DeleteThe only way to avoid rejections is to never submit anything. That means there'll be no acceptances either. If we want one, we simply have to learn to cope with the other.
ReplyDeleteRejections are all part of the territory.
DeleteThanks for the inspiration, Chrys! I love the idea of treating each rejection as a badge. Great idea about reviewing picture books at your mom's blog. That book you featured here also looks cute!
ReplyDeleteThe book I featured here is one I edited for DLP. ;)
DeleteHi Chrys!
ReplyDeleteMy Bactine (love the blog title) is to always have another project in the works so there isn't time to wallow in self-doubt. This works about half the time ;-)
The "Corners" blurb is compelling, and how terrific that you're reviewing picture books!
Hi Diedre!
DeleteI got the Bactine title idea from one of your comments from last year. ;)
That's a good way to view rejection. I knew someone who was incapable of taking criticism, even constructive criticism, from anyone because they took it personally every time. And yet they wanted to pursue a career in an industry where rejection was part of the norm, which is why they didn't last very long in that industry.
ReplyDeleteThat’s such a shame, too.
DeleteA great way of keeping a positive attitude towards rejection. Thanks for this post.
ReplyDeleteYou’re welcome, Nas!
DeleteBadges of honour! I love that! That is crazy about not reviewing picture books! So happy you and your mom are doing it! Big Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThanks! We’re just two people and just starting, though. It would be great if others saw this problem and fixed what they do, especially those reviewers with such discriminatory guidelines.
DeleteRejection stings, but it makes us stronger.
ReplyDeleteI haven't written any picture books, but my former business partner helped a local young writer publish hers!
Rejection does make us stronger. We get s thicker skin needed in this profession.
DeleteThat’s awesome!
I like your attitude toward rejection, Chrys. Good advice. Sorry to hear about the reviewer situation for your mom's book. Great idea to create a review site.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Diane!
DeleteI like the thoughts on rejection. I realize that a rejection IS an accomplishment, because for years I've avoided them by not submitting anything (I've been self-publishing, and I don't regret that, but I've been avoiding sending out short stories, too).
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll drop you a line about my picture book. It's rather a niche audience :)
The fear of rejection could lead to us wanting to avoid it at all costs.
DeleteGreat! I did get your email. :)
I love that you and your mom will be reviewing all kinds of picture books on her blog! Awesome. I have been seeing her book all over the blogosphere- so I think you ladies did a great job finding place to share the news.
ReplyDelete~Jess
Thank you, Jess! This is a great blogging community. They helped a lot in great the word out. :)
DeleteI've gotten so used to rejection is doesn't sting much anymore. I should collect a few more though :) Love the Corners book.
ReplyDeleteThat's great!
DeleteThis is a VERY health way to look at rejections, my friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you! :D
DeleteOkay, rejection still hurts me. I wish it didn't, but I can't figure out why the story was rejected and only wish they'd tell me why they don't want the story. Dang! It drives me crazy.
ReplyDeleteAs I've said, I like the Pea Soup book. All the luck with the new release. Thanks for sharing this with your followers.
http://victoriamarielees.blogspot.com
I still ask why a story was rejected, especially since they don't explain why they reject it, but I've received so many of those form rejections that they're more annoying now. lol A rejection every now and then does sting. I push it down though and continue on.
DeleteThank you so much for reviewing Pea Soup Disaster!
Good advice. I feel that being an author (even a published one), my job is basically to deal with frequent rejection and keep going:)
ReplyDeleteOh yes, being rejected still happens to published authors. Maybe even more so because we keep going.
DeleteGreat advice re: rejections. I strive for 100 every year, but now my goal is 100 submissions instead of rejections, because I can control the former. The general idea is the same, though.
ReplyDeleteNice thing you are doing with your mom. I'm sure many authors will be grateful for the review.
109 submissions is a great goal!
DeleteGreat advice! I haven't put out queries in years because life is way too complicated at the moment. I remember sending out my first though and that 1sr R was a big moment - I felt like a true aspiring author. The 1st request for a full was HUGE as well. Can't wait to get back into those trenches one day :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you get back into the trenches soon! :)
DeleteThe first article I submitted, which was to an academic peer-review journal, wasn't rejected outright. The editor wrote me back and offered a few suggestions before submitting it to review. I listened, did the edits, and it was accepted and published and I was humbled and overjoyed. Since then, while having had lots of articles published (bot academic and more general), I have also collected a stack of rejection letters. I like it when they suggest what might be done to strengthen your article-but not all editors do that.
ReplyDeleteNope, not all editors do that, which is a shame. They could help many writers if they did. Even just one little morsel.
DeleteWhat a great post. I'm so glad you and your mom have started reviewing picture books. Every little bit helps.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of treating rejection as a badge of honor. I'll keep that in mind when I start submitting again.
Thanks, Toi! I wish you all the luck when you start submitting again. :)
DeleteAwesome post! I also came across reviewers saying no to indie authors.
ReplyDeleteIt’s really unfortunate.
Delete