Domestic Violence Awareness + A Love That Disturbs

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Domestic abuse can result in an extensive amount of physical, mental, and emotional abuse. If you're a writer, it’s important to tackle all 3 if your story deals with domestic violence.

Writing About Domestic Violence by Chrys Fey

1. Physical Abuse

Victims are pushed, slapped, hit, punched, and kicked. Objects are often used as weapons against them, or they are threatened with a gun or knife. They can have bruises that they cover up with long sleeves even in warm weather or offer weak explanations after a moment’s silence. They also get random injuries that can’t be explained.

2. Mental Abuse

The victim is stalked, intimidated, blackmailed, given ultimatums, and gas lighted (made to believe everything is her fault, and that she’s crazy because the abuser is playing tricks on her, lying, and manipulating her.) Abusers can also check in constantly, record her car’s mileage, read her text messages, and listen to her phone conversations. This could lead the victim to not go anywhere or talk to anyone.

3. Emotional Abuse

Abuser can tell her she’s ugly, stupid, fat, a bad parent, etc. Crude words could also be used against her. He can say these things so often that the victim believes them.

Victims have to deal with being put down all the time in public and in private. She is scared, jumpy, depressed, lonely, and obviously unhappy.

Other Forms of Abuse:

Social Abuse – the victim can’t see certain friends or family members.

Financial Abuse – the victim doesn’t have control over her money.

Sexual Abuse – the victim is forced to do sexual acts against her will.

Warning Signs:

- Abuser constantly criticizes her.

- Bruises and injuries.

- Abuser blames victim for everything.

- Victim is threatened all the time.

- Abuser accuses victim of flirting or cheating.

- Victim is on edge or becomes quiet when partner comes into the room.

- Victim can’t go to school/work.

- Victim can’t see family/friends.

- The abuser controls everything (phone, car, money).

NOTE: Men can be the victim in domestic abuse, too.

Aside from abuse between partners there are these types, too:

1. Child Abuse

As shocking as it can be to think about, there are monsters out there who abuse children physically, mentally, and sexually. Abused children will run and hide when their abuser is around, cry, or become quiet. Some are so emotionally damaged that they may become voluntarily mute. They will have odd bruises on their bodies and may be frail from a lack of food. They may not sleep well and could have dark circles around their eyes and fall asleep in class. Their grades could also slip.

2. Relative/Sibling Abuse

This is one that I’ve experienced…a close relative or sibling could become abusive such as a child to their mother, a brother to a sister, an uncle to a niece or nephew, etc. And many of the things mentioned earlier can qualify here, too. 

3. Animal Abuse 

Any abuse toward an animal including beating, starving, and leaving them outside without water (or inside a locked car with the windows up).

QUESTION: Do you have a personal story? If you’d like to share your experience with domestic abuse, you can. I’ll listen.

Chrys'Story: My half-bother verbally abused me and threatened me all the time with words and objects. He also caused my mom physical harm. I’ve also seen my sister abused by her ex-husband.

*Share this post to pass on domestic violence awareness.

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BOOK BLAST FOR MEDEIA

A LOVE THAT DISTURBS by Medeia Sharif
Evernight Teen, June 17, 2016
Purchase from Amazon (merchant sites will be updated on the author's site)

Maysa Mazari is alarmed by her mother’s talk about arranged marriage. As a hijab-wearing Pakistani-American, she wants to find love on her own. Her judgmental Muslim clique has protected her from racist taunts, although the leader is turning on her as Maysa strays from the group because of her attraction to Haydee.

Haydee Gomez is a former gang member and juvenile detention student. Now living with a clean-cut aunt, she wants to turn her life around, even though one person will never let her forget her roots—Rafe, her abusive pimp. Haydee attempts to pull away from a life of prostitution when she develops feelings for Maysa, although Rafe isn’t willing to give her up too easily.

Finding themselves in danger from Maysa’s friends and Haydee’s pimp, it’s apparent their love disturbs everyone around them as they fight to stay together.

Find Medeia – YA and MG Author

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