Today is the Write . . . Edit . . . Publish bloghop aka WEP. The theme for this month of November is SHARING. All participants can post anything they want (a short story, poem, or even a story through pictures) about sharing. And it’s not too late to sign up!
Back Story: I have been experiencing heart problems (non-life threatening) for almost two years now, and during the time when I was really scared I started to think about what it would be like to get a heart transplant. That train of thought eventually turned to donating my heart. This essay is very personal, and it is hard for me to share, but I do want to know what you think of it. :) It is 568 words long.
If I Could Donate My Heart
by
Chrys Fey
When someone is
waiting for a heart and receives one through an act of fate, they may never know where
the heart came from. This thought struck me with wonder. If I had a heart transplant,
I would want to know if the person was good or bad. I would want to know what
the heart had gone through before it was given to me. What kind of traumas did
it face? What kind of sorrows did it feel? What kind of triumphs made it beat
faster? Those are the things I would want to know about the strange heart
beating inside my chest . . . but what if my heart was being transplanted
into a foreign body? If I could donate my heart there are a few things I
would want the person receiving it to know.
While the person
recovered, I would want them to know we are sharing
the same heart. I may not have a body, but as long as my heart beats inside
theirs then I am still alive. I would want them to know they’d never be alone
as long as they breathed. I would always be with them as an angel, as a second heartbeat.
When they leave the
hospital, taking my heart with them, I would want to whisper in their ear to
take care of it for me, not to abuse it, not to take it for granted, and
definitely not to hate it. During my lifetime, it was a reliable heart. They must keep it beating, because the
moment they die I will die all over again.
As they live their
new life with their new heart, I would want to tell them about the struggles my
heart faced during my life, like the scars that might be left on it from my
childhood. I would want them to know I built a wall around my heart to keep
it protected, a wall that still might exist within them. I would want to apology
to them, because taking down that wall could be a struggle, extending trust
could prove to be difficult, and finding love could be a challenge. But if they
wanted to trust and love, they would see my heart would be up for the
opportunity.
If they do fall in
love, I would want them to know I had never been
truly, madly, deeply, earth-shatteringly in love, so as they fall in love, I
am falling in love, too. I would want to thank them for letting my heart feel
the lovely phenomenon for the first time.
On their deathbed, I
would want them to know it would be okay to let our heart stop beating; it
lived two great lives. And when they pass into the light, I want them to be
comforted by the fact that I'd be there to welcome them with open arms, to
thank them for the journey they took my heart on. Then I would place their hand
on my transparent form and show them my heart hadn’t really left me after all.
And with their other hand on their chest, I would tell them it belonged to both
of us, that the reason why I was born was to provide a single heart
for two lives.
If I could donate my
heart . . . that is what I would want the person receiving it to know. ©
Image by Chrys Fey.
Very touching post, Chrys. So sorry to hear about your health troubles, but it sounds like you've taken it as an opportunity to figure some things out. I think they call that turning lemons into a tasty, sweet beverage--and I highly recommend it. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, E.J.! I just got a diagnosis and my heart troubles are small, but when I didn't know what was going on it was very frightening.
DeleteI turn lemons into tasty, sweet beverages all the time. ;) Or I try to anyway.
Thank you for your comment!
A touching piece of writing. It's strange to think about receiving or donating one of our organs.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sally! It really is.
DeleteWow. That's all I really got. One of the few points in my little life that I am speechless!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I made you speechless. Since it doesn't happen a lot I am honored. Thank you for reading my post and leaving a comment. :)
DeleteChrys, that was absolutely beautiful. You made me teary.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kelly! I was teary a few times while writing it.
DeleteWOW!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing not only your story but your heart.
I have always been apprehensive to the idea of donating my organs, you have opened my mind to see it a different way.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for telling me that, David! I had no idea what kind of impact this essay would have on others, so knowing how it opened your mind makes me feel . . . I don't even think a word describes how I feel. :)
DeleteA lovely concept you've put to lovely words.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jessica! :)
DeleteThank you for sharing such an intimate post. I have been a registered organ donor since age 16, and I hope that some day, a part of me will go on in life with someone else, and help them to fulfill a dream. (If I reach a ripe old age, perhaps they can use my body to teach medical students.)
ReplyDeleteI've been a registered organ donor since I was 16 too. Thinking about people receiving my organs now sounds strange, but when I pass on I would want to help as many people as possible to live long, full lives.
DeleteWhat a lovely sentiment, and so touchingly shared! Thank you, and so sorry for your health issues, today so much can be done to help - I hope you are getting and doing all that is possible. Organ donation is a beautiful thing and a letter like that to the recipients would surly help them to accept and heal faster - beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Yolanda! That is an idea. Maybe I should print it out and have it added in my Will . . . whenever I create one.
DeleteVery touching point of view. I seem to recall reading a story about a heart transplant patient experiencing some of the feelings of the original owner--love of certain kinds of food, etc.
ReplyDeleteI actually took out a paragraph about that to shorten the post. I had mentioned that if they found they suddenly hated mushrooms it was because I hated mushrooms while I was alive, and they'd get used to it just as they'd get used to my heart. :)
DeleteChrys, thank you so much. I'm sorry to hear you have been unwell, I do hope that things improve for you. There can be no greater gift than ones own heart. What a compassionate person you are. It's so warming to read something that expresses the generosity and goodness of human beings.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jenny! I do love to help people and if I can help people after I'm gone then that is even better. :)
DeleteChrys, thanks for giving us another glimpse into your beautiful soul. You're truly a gem, and true love will find you one day when you least expect it.
ReplyDeleteThis reminded me of the movies 21 Grams and Seven Pounds. Wow those are heavy movies--and very evocative. If you haven't seen them, I highly recommend them both.
That is very kind of you to say. Pk. :)
DeleteI haven't seen those movies, but I'll make a note to look for them. Thank you!
This is beautiful, I've really never given the subject much thought before.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Laura! I hadn't either until I experienced heart problems and then watched the movie "Return to Me" with Minny Driver where she gets a heart transplant. After that, I couldn't stop thinking about it.
DeleteThis is an interesting take on the whole heart transplant idea. In human society, we still attach so much emotional significance to the heart when, in fact, it's probably really all going on in our brains. My family has a long history of heart disease so some of this is near and dear. I hope your own issues get resolved before too long.
ReplyDeleteThank you! We probably do experience love in our brains, but who knows for sure? My family also has a history of heart problems. I got my diagnosis back and it's good news. As good as it gets when something is amiss, even slightly amiss, with your heart. Thank you for your kindness. :)
DeleteChrys, this is really beautiful and very poignant... Not easy to share such thoughts, but I'm grateful that you did.
ReplyDeleteThis is especially touching since it appears that the heart is a "little brain" in its own right, studies having shown that it has a very sophisticated nervous system, a circuitry that enables it to act independently of the cranial brain. So stories of people accessing memories or feelings of those who had donated their heart to them might be true...
Not easy at all, but I am glad I did. I wasn't expecting such a beautiful response from everyone. And thank you for sharing that bit about what studies have shown. That is fascinating and I believe it's true. :)
DeleteHi Chrys. I hope you are well and continue to be so. What a heartfelt little essay on the heart. It was very touching, and powerful too. I like the way you consider yourself continuing to live on in the new person once they receive your heart. This puts a whole lot more emotion into the heart transplant operation.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such deep thoughts and feelings. I hope it was cathartic. It has given all your readers a lot to ponder.
Denise
Thank you, Denise! Writing this really helped me to look closely at my situation and to be grateful for my heart even though it likes to cause me some problems every now and then. I am happy to offer my readers the chance to consider such a selfless act too. :)
DeleteBeautifully written. This touched me deeply and I am one who has survived so many things that to be moved any more is difficult. You should turn it into a story and donate the proceeds to the heart foundation if you have the funds.
ReplyDeleteNancy
Thank you, Nancy! That is a great idea! It may take me some time to complete, but I am going to start plotting the story. Thank you for such a wonderful idea!
DeleteThis was so moving Chrys that I even had tears in my eyes. Knowing how my mother was an organ recipient, not of a heart, but still, a life-changing organ, your story really hit home.
ReplyDeleteYour words are gravitating and emotional on every level. They made me want to know that if something happens to me, my heart will go on by giving someone else the chance to live, feel, love and grow old. Thanks for sharing this.
That was my goal. :) Well, not to make anyone teary, but to prompt them to wonder what kind of impact they'd have on someone's life if they could donate their heart. :)
DeleteYour piece stirred my emotions and left a lump in my throat...
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your innermost self, in such a sincere manner. You are so brave.
I've never really thought about organ transplant, or the experiences and feelings of the donor and recipient. Now you've given me something to think about.
Thank you, Michelle! I was nervous about sharing something so intimate about myself, but I just felt I had to. :)
DeleteThank you, Jen! I definitely believe a part of us is still with our organs even if the organ is in another body. :)
ReplyDelete